Intervention
by The-Lady-Smaell
Summary: *Companion piece to 'A Little Less Conversation'* In which Jūshirō is out for revenge, Zaraki underestimates his opponent and Shunsui is stuck in the middle. Rated for language.


A/N: *Chuckles evilly* So I've just finished a 10 hour night shift and my crack muse decides to re-emerge _now_... This is a sort of companion piece to 'A Little Less Conversation' because I apparently couldn't just leave it where it was and Jūshirō was demanding revenge... *Shakes head*

Disclaimer: Does anybody seriously believe I own them? Imagine the chaos if I did!

Warnings: Swearing, character abuse and some very very irritated Captain's XD.

Intervention.

The day was beautifully tranquil in the Seireitei, the calm all the more prominent in the heart of the Ugendō the ancestral home of the Ukitake's. Inside the peaceful abode the current master was laid out flat on his back staring at the ceiling with a deep scowl on his face and was, not for the first time (more like the billionth but who was really counting) cursing the state of his health.

Admittedly on this occasion he had no one except himself to blame.

He'd known letting out such a large surge of reiatsu in nothing more than childish anger would impact on his already _delicate _disposition but god damn it had been utterly and absolutely warranted. The bastard that called himself Captain of the eleventh division had gone too far, way too far and he just hadn't been able to control his temper.

Jūshirō sighed, fat load of good it had done him. Almost as soon as he'd released the energy he'd had a horrific attack of his illness which had landed him bed-ridden for almost five days now. So to add to the sheer pissed-offedness he was feeling he was now also bored as hell.

Zaraki was going to fucking pay for this _dearly_.

The only thing he couldn't quite figure out was how.

Ukitake was drawn from his thoughts as a knock on the door echoed through the room. Recognizing the reiatsu signature the white haired man smiled and struggled to sit up on his futon.

"You can stop skulking Kyōraku and get in here."

The door opened hesitantly and the messy head of the eighth division's captain peeked around, a nervous grin on his face.

"I wasn't 'skulking' Juu, if memory serves the last time I came in unannounced I ended up with a sōren sōkatsui to the face."

Jūshirō flushed slightly, he'd forgotten about that particular incident.

"Ah yes… Well you shouldn't sneak up on people Shun."

Kyōraku just rolled his eyes in good humor and walked into the room, promptly plonking himself next to Ukitake's futon and pulling out a bottle of sake. Pouring himself a quick shot he knocked the liquor back with practiced ease before turning concerned eyes at his friend.

"So Juu-chan, how are you feeling?"

The white-haired man rolled his eyes at the nickname and pierced his friend with a glare.

"Do you really want an answer to that?"

Shunsui chuckled and threw back another shot.

"Well judging by the look on your face it seems to me that you're still kind of miffed at a certain someone."

A dark brow rose in annoyance and the brunette's chuckle turned into a full bellied laugh. Jūshirō just shook his head a frown marring features still.

"I take it miffed is too tame a word then Juu?"

The hazel eyes narrowed.

"I'd say so Shun, I just spent the better part of a week laid out because of Zaraki and his scheme to get me to fight him... and don't think you're off the hook either you didn't help the situation."

Kyōraku pouted slightly at his friend, sake cup precariously balanced on his lap.

"But Juu... You would've done the same in my place..."

Ukitake momentarily thought about refuting his friend's words but knowing them to be a bare-faced lie he rather wisely decided against it, especially since his friend would have most certainly called his bluff. Admittedly he wouldn't have gone about it the same way Shunsui had but he certainly would have taken full advantage of the situation for his amusement.

He was a kind person... Not a saint.

Seeing the glimmer of amusement on the white-haired man's face Kyōraku let out a small sigh of relief knowing that he was momentarily off the hook. But the brunette knew better than to know that his friend's wrath had been quelled especially if the burning look in Ukitake's eyes was anything to go by. He took another shot of sake and waited for Jūshirō to speak.

"You know I've been stuck here procrastinating all week and I haven't been able to think of a damned thing to get back at him."

The words were growled and fury flashed through the hazel eyes, Shunsui just hummed in thought tilting his hat to the side. He understood Ukitake's need for vengeance, Zaraki had to know that Jūshirō was not to be pushed around but it was a case of how to teach him a lesson without giving him what he wanted. When he voiced this particular thought the sickly man went very still as the cogs in his brain began to turn.

Then very, _very _slowly an evil and downright devious smile broke out across Jūshirō's face and Kyōraku felt himself shudder at the memories that smile evoked.

Zaraki was _fucked_.

"Kyōraku Shunsui I think I love you, you crazy drunken genius."

Screw Zaraki, Soul-Society was _fucked_.

* * *

Zaraki Kenpachi lazed in his office in the eleventh division thoroughly bored. It had been just over a week since he'd started his little game with one of his fellow Captain's and the fact it had yet to come to fruition was irritating the shit out of him. He'd felt Ukitake's murderous intent (Something he'd admittedly not thought the usually peaceful man capable of) and had eagerly awaited the upcoming battle but so far the man hadn't shown.

Ah well... He could be patient; the wait would make the fight much more satisfying.

Zaraki flipped himself on to his back and stared at the ceiling intent on having a small nap. This however was promptly shot to hell as there was a tentative knock on the door.

No rest for the wicked, as that human saying went.

"Enter."

The door opened revealing a nervous looking, weed of a Shinigami. The youngster physically trembled as the captain turned a baleful eye on him and Zaraki couldn't resist a mental snigger, he'd always found it amusing to make his subordinates piss themselves in fear.

"Well..?" The word was drawled out irritation obvious in the tone.

Weed (as Zaraki had now dubbed him) meeped and quickly delivered his message.

"Um... Er... Captain-Commander Yamamoto wants to see you Sir."

The captain frowned, what the hell did the old fart want with him _now? _There weren't any meetings scheduled as far as he knew and other than pissing off Ukitake to the point the other man had made himself ill he couldn't think of any misdeeds that would warrant the old man's attention.

With an aggravated sigh Zaraki sat up and shot a glare at Weed, who promptly went very pale and scarpered from the doorway. He picked up his haori and draped it lazily across shoulders before flash-stepping out of his office and toward the first division's headquarters.

He arrived within moments and was quickly ushered into Yamamoto's office, a look of extreme boredom on his face.

And instantly stopped still.

Stood before him were a number of his fellow Captain's as well as a smattering of lieutenants and lower ranked Shinigami.

The hairs on the back of Zaraki's neck stood on end, something smelt very, very fishy here.

The suspicion was only enhanced when Ukitake _smiled _at him.

To any casual observer it appeared to be an ordinary pleasant smile but to Zaraki, who knew the subtle nuances between pleasantness and demonic glee, it was an omen of doom.

The white-haired captain flanked by his usual flunky Kyōraku, (who looked surprisingly unnerved at the whole situation) had a practiced look of innocence on his pale face even if his hazel eyes burned with mischief.

"Captain Zaraki... We have gathered here to address some issues your colleagues felt needed to be addressed..."

Yamamoto's voice was low, serious and he threw a stern look in his direction. Zaraki frowned and looked a little confused.

"Issues?"

"What the Captain-Commander is trying to say is that we've decided you need an intervention to make you aware of some of your more violent tendencies..."

Jūshirō stepped forward as he spoke, his voice full of faked concern. Again their gazes met and both of them knew in that instant what this was really about and the eleventh division captain felt something completely foreign to him, a small ripple of nervousness.

Shunsui watched as his friend took centre stage still somewhat shocked at the speed at which the white-haired man had cobbled together this rather elaborate revenge, never mind the fact he'd gotten Yama-Jii and most of the Captain's to go along with it. Whichever way you looked at it the conclusion was the same, although generally mild mannered Ukitake Jūshirō was not a person you wanted to be on the bad side of. And Zaraki was about to learn this the hard way.

There was a small cough and Jūshirō continued his little speech

"Many believe your battle lust is starting to overwhelm you Captain Zaraki and that is why we're doing this... To _help _you."

There was a bark of laughter from Kenpachi as the two continued their staring match, neither of them giving an inch to their opponent. This was as much a battle as any physical confrontation and Zaraki found he was relishing the gauntlet that the elder captain had thrown down for him.

"I don't know what you're talking about Ukitake, I'm fine and nothing is going to overwhelm me. Now I gotta be going if all this crap is done with."

A sad look crossed Jūshirō's face and Zaraki had to admire the man's acting skills, if he hadn't known better he would have thought that Ukitake was genuinely concerned about him.

"Captain Zaraki, living in denial is not very healthy. It hurts the cause…"

Oh sweet merciful deities was that a tremble in his voice? Damn was it any wonder the white-haired man had half the Seireitei wrapped around his little finger? Around him Zaraki could see the darkening look on the rest of the crowd's faces and again he felt that trickle of nervousness, except this time it decided to hang around a little longer as the younger captain began to realize just what a mistake he'd made.

At this rate Ukitake wouldn't have to lay a finger on him, he'd have the rest of the soul-society do it for him. However that thought did bring a grim smile to his face as he realized that he would get a hell of a fight out of it, even if it wasn't against Ukitake himself.

"I'm not in denial Ukitake, I like to fight I accept that and nothing is going to change that as for _how_ I go about getting my fights that is entirely none of your business."

The challenge was laid down and now Zaraki waited to see if the Jūshirō would take the bait. There was a flicker of annoyance through the hazels eyes before the mask slipped perfectly back into place.

"That may be the case Captain Zaraki but with that attitude is there any wonder that those around you are hurting. I think we must take drastic action to ensure this stops before it gets any worse."

Kenpachi snorted in disdain.

"I'd like to see you try and get me to stick to anything you propose."

The second the words left Zaraki's mouth he instantly regretted them because Ukitake flashed him the widest, most perversely evil grin he'd ever seen and in that moment he realized he'd walked straight into whatever trap the white-haired Captain had set for him. He started to back away toward the door but Yamamoto's voice echoed across the room.

"You will stay put Zaraki. This meeting is for your benefit and even if we have to take drastic measures we shall succeed."

Drastic measures?

Zaraki sure as hell didn't like the sound of that.

He again tried to move toward the exit but as soon as he did there was a clicking sound and he felt something cool affix itself around his neck as a low voice chuckled in his ear.

"Tut-tut Ken-chan; I would have thought you'd known better than to go against your superiors."

Kenpachi's eyes went wide as he recognized the voice.

Ukitake.

When the hell had the man had chance to move, let alone get behind him.

"Ukitake you low-life son of a *Bzzzzt*"

The sentence was cut short as an electric current passed through the man's body causing him to convulse.

"What the *Bzzzt*"

The low voice began to chuckle again speaking loud enough for only him to hear.

"I told you Ken-chan, we would take drastic measures if you didn't see reason."

It was a taunt and he knew it but as he growled and turned to strike out at the man another bolt of electricity passed through his body, causing him to fall to his knees.

"What did you do to me Ukitake?"

The pale man's face was a picture of innocence.

"Me? I didn't do anything… this collar however sends a rather large charge of electricity through you if you so much as _think_ of anything violent."

Kenpachi's jaw dropped.

"What?"

"You heard me, you think of picking a fight you get shocked, you swear you get shocked, you do anything I even vaguely deem inappropriate you get shocked. I figured someone like you wouldn't listen to reason so I had to show you the error of your ways. But don't worry it'll only last a week, more than enough time to drive my point home."

The eleventh division captain was utterly speechless and he just gaped at the fragile looking man in front of him. For the first time he actually saw _why_ Ukitake was such a feared captain. For all his smiles and kind words he had a ruthless streak bigger than Hueco Mundo and he wasn't afraid to use it if he felt he'd been wronged.

It was scary.

Actually scratch that it was downright terrifying.

Most peaceful man in the Seireitei my *Bzzzzt*

Feeling decidedly happier Jūshirō backed away from the incapacitated Captain a small calm smile on his face. Every single Shinigami behind him flinched and subconsciously backed away from the bat-shit crazy man. You had to be bat-shit crazy to stick a shock collar on Zaraki Kenpachi of all people of that there was no doubt. Smile widening he turned to the throng of people and tried to hide the chuckle working its way up his throat as a cough.

"I think this meeting is concluded."

No one argued with the statement.

* * *

Later that evening found Jūshirō and Shunsui sitting on the roof of the eighth division barracks, a celebratory glass of sake in hand. Both men were laughing heartily tears streaming down their faces as they watched Zaraki try and keep his cool and fail miserably.

"I have to ask Juu, where the hell did you get that thing?"

The white haired man hiccoughed and took a slow sip of the sake.

"A certain exiled ex-captain owed me a favor."

The brunette shook his head and tried to fight off another snort as he watched Kenpachi attempt to fight the effects of the collar and continue to fail miserably, much to the amusement of his young lieutenant.

"That rather surprisingly doesn't surprise me; Kisuke's even more mischievous than you when he gets going. Although I'm not entirely sure I want to know why he owes you a favor."

Ukitake's eyes shone while he stifled his laughter enough to speak.

"It's probably for the best that you don't."

Shunsui turned to his friend suddenly very serious.

"You do know he's going to be out for blood once that thing comes off."

"I was hoping my lesson would at least stick a little while… Besides he deserved it for using poor Yachiru like that."

The white-haired man stroked a few wayward strands of hair out of his face the humor starting to fade and Shunsui shuddered slightly as he thought about Kenpachi's torment.

"Remind me never to piss you off that much ever."

Eyes gleaming with mirth Jūshirō faced his friend.

"Shun…"

"Yes Juu?"

"Never piss me off that much ever."

There was a moment where Kyōraku almost inhaled his drink at the comment caught off guard by the unexpected show of humor. Spluttering slightly he punched his friend in the arm with a few muttered curses under his breath that both he and Ukitake knew were just meaningless words.

As the moon slowly rose the two men sat in silence reflecting that whatever would come, would come and that they would face it together as they always had done.

~The End~

A/N: Ugh… So dead right now. Sorry if it sucks toward the end my brain is officially mush… So leave a review if you enjoyed, hated or just vaguely felt indifferent to this. They really make my day.


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